[Page Sixty]


The Madness of Yu-Gi-Oh! (part 1)

[#521]

  • Card game

    [Note: A while back I found myself in the divine presense of a ten year old and his Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. Like most people, I had heard of these popular cards, but had never seen them. Wow. They are very strange for sure and very Japanese in feel. After sifting through a few hundred of his thousands of cards, here are a few I either found humorous or just downright strange.]

    [Below: 'Malevolent Nuzzler'? What the hell is a Nuzzler? It can't be good...! Or maybe it just sounded better than 'Malevolent Cuddler'!]

    [Below: This might make a good modern black metal cover!]

    [Below: 'Dark Gray'. This creature is so fuckin' cool it can only be named after its color! Ever wondered what geniuses named such things as a fly a 'fly', or an orange an 'orange'?]

    [Below: Don't trust her. Word on the streets is she has a raging case of elven herpes... so you know what her 'gift' is going to be.]

    [Below: ...]

    [Below: If you think he looks homo then please understand that he was the manliest fairy that showed up for the picture shoot!]

    [Below: Every child should have a 'Malice Doll of Demise'.]

    [Below: ...!]

    [Below: 'Cemetery Bomb'! Interesting to think of a cemetery being bombed. Surely it's happened. In WW2 millions of bombs were dropped, many of them indiscriminately. What a forlorn sight it must've been.]

    [Below: huh?]

    [Below: 'Nightmare Penguin'. I have never written those two words together before now, and never will again.]

    [Below: Ahh, so that's what those unidentified lights in the sky really are!]

    [Below: They've come from the sky to feed on our flames!]

    [Below: Someone had a weird obsession with turtles...]

    [Below: Things just get stranger and stranger...]

    [Below: What a fat-ass mummy. I bet his embalmers had a fun time draining all the grease out of his veins!]

    [Below: He's calling out for your bacon grease.]

    [Below: Probably after a massive coronary explosion.]

    [Below: Malevolent Creation did a killer song of the same name on their masterpiece 'The Ten Commandments'.]

    [Below: 'The Gross Ghost of Fled Dreams'. Someone really strained their imagination to think up this title.]

    [Below: A 'fairy' card indeed. This kid is destined to be one of those mummies mentioned above.]

    [Below: 'Invitation to a Dark Sleep'. Better than a 'light' sleep I suppose.]

    [Below: Many a black metal band has written a song about this awe inspiring goat.]

    [Below: ...]

    [Below: Getting stranger still...]

    [Below: ...]

    [Below: 'Bad Reaction to Simochi'! This must be some kind of sushi?!]

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  • But Yu-gi-oh! isn't the only card game in the sea. There are many, many others. My 'source' had a few other examples. If you thought Yu-Gi-Oh! was strange, leave it to Nintendo's Pokemon to be stranger still.

    [Below: Oooh, scary!]

    [Below: Hmm...]

    [Below: We've found the human missing link!]

    _________________________________________________________

  • World of Warcraft isn't just a video game apparently... I somehow doubt Blizzard, its maker, could ever come up with anything as cool as Nintendo's 'Lickitung' however. Or the obscene, evil brutality of Nintendo's 'Graveler'. We'll see...

    [Below: ...]

    [Below: ...]

    [Below: Wow, talk about a bad reputation. I wonder what a girl has to do before earning the nickname 'Putrid'?]

    [Below: ...]

    [Below: I think I might need one of those after cataloging all of this...]

    _________________________________________________________

  • Magic the Gathering

    [Below: 'Destroy any one creature that isn't black'... How racist is this card?!]

    [Below: And finally! 'Mind Rot'! Which is exactly what I have now after looking through all these cards!]


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