[Page One Hundred and Six]


[Above: Hard plastic shell]

[Above: Chest open, unit is built in]

RelaxAcizor ©1951

[#781]

  • Torture Machine from the Darkest Hell

    [Note: I found this frightening device at a local junk sale. Down in a musty, dark basement it waited 65 years for my uncertain hand. So what is this ungodly ancient device? A 'RelaxAcizor', of course! What the hell is that you say? It is somehow meant to relax you. You hook up wet patches all over your body through the use of harnesses and the machine sends electrical currents to you body -- electrocuting you! I tested this thing on my hand and it really works. Can you imagine electrocuting your whole body and your head? Sounds wonderful eh? Let's take a look at some of its potential uses:

    First, this beast hooks up to your cheeks and eyes! #1 'Action' = It 'pulls up cheek; closes eyes'. That sounds horrific.

    Moving on...

    #2 Chin-neck. 'Action' = It 'Pulls chin down, MAY OPEN MOUTH (!!!)...' Holy shit. Are you imagining this!? I see a person being electrocuted, mouth agape, drool running freely. Wow.

    Let's skip down to #11. Back Upper Hips. 'Action' = 'Causes "Rumba" like movement of hips'. WTF is that supposed to mean? My imagination shows someone writhing in agony on the floor while gyrating in pain. Rumba. No thanks.

    [Above: While you are doing the Roomba (Rumba), writhing on the floor, you'll pick up a lot of pet hair and dirt.

    Now to #14. Buttocks. 'Action' = 'Muscles of buttock tense; when lying down this will cause BODY TO RISE; action is great'. Wait a minute 'will cause body to rise'? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Like levitate? Electricity spitting out everywhere? And the whole 'action is great' sounds very frightening.

    Reluctantly we move to #15. High Inside Thigh. This sounds scary already. 'Placement: as high as possible between legs'... how high are we talking here? Ouch. 'Action' = 'Pulls legs together'.
    Ow-ow-ow-ow-fuck!

    Okay, enough of this. Check out the diagrams and pictures below. Can you imagine the model who posed for the pictures for this THING? Not only a bit risqué for the year 1951, posing nude and all, but it also looks completely nuts (keep in mind Playboy magazine didn't debut for two more years in 1953).

    Anyway, on with the show. I have a date with my RelaxAcizor! Goodnight all you stiff bastards!]

    *Click all images to enlarge!!!

    [Above: Unit close up]

    [Above: And even closer]

    [Above: Plastic bag that hold the 'VEST' device]

    [Above: Plastic bag and rubber straps]

    [Above: RelaxAcizor imprint on plastic bag]

    [Above: This horrible thing is for your face and eyes! It's a little bit decayed, but you get the point...]

    [Above: Close-up]

    [Above: Manual cover. This makes the device look like something of beauty and culture, instead of an electrical Pandora's Box from Hades.]

    [Above: Instructions and side effects (!)...]

    [Above: Insane picture diagram]

    [Above: Instructions and side effects continued.]

    [Above: Instructions to get the party started. Use up to 1 hour!]

    [Above: More instructions - I like the part about 'The Relax-A-cizor is sold only for beautifying purposes'!]

    [Above: Instructions and guarantee. Is that a bloodstain!?]

    [Above: Yet more instructions and a list of offices! How did this crazed device have so many offices?!?]

    [Above: Diagram. There is a secret #21 that goes up your... but that's for members only. Write for more information.]

    [Above: A pretty girl entices us to electrocute ourselves. Check out the 'Chin-Pads move muscles around mouth and may open it. If sensation is felt in teeth...' Wow cool, it even shocks your teeth.]

    [Above: More and more diagrams...]

    [Above: What do you think this woman was thinking about when she modeled for this?]

    [Above: This looks batshit crazy. Someone took the time to pen in some numbers to better explain the functions for us. Thanks, asshole of the past.]


    Google Insanity

    [#782]

  • Erase and replace white history

    [Note: There is a peculiar happening which occurs when you type in the words 'European people art' and 'white man white woman' on the Google search engine (see above and below). As of the time of this writing (9/27/2016) these simple searches reveal these shocking results. Apparently white people have only painted pictures of blacks??? WTF??? Crazier still, searching for a white couple reveals only interracial couples!!?! I try not to use Google for a variety of reasons, but this one tops them all. They clearly have an anti-white agenda. Imagine them doing this to blacks or any other race? It would never happen. One more piece of proof in a massive heap of evidence that there is indeed a plan to destroy and replace the white race.

    White man, you had better wake up, and wake up angry, soon. You had better drop your timid, politically correct, sports obsessed, weak and cowardly mindset, lest very soon your very seed, the seed of your entire people, will be destroyed. Your enemies work tirelessly every moment while you sleep to destroy not only your future, but also your past.

    [Below: Here's a google search using the words 'white mom and baby'... it's almost unbelievable until you do it yourself and learn that it is true. It's like they are spitting in the face of every white person. Truly despicable. One day whomever is behind this will have to answer for this.]

    [Below: The insanity never ends it seems... we all know by now that white people aren't allowed to be proud of being white or anything related to their race. The proof of this is all around us, but here's one more example of insane double standards...]

    [Below: Some brave souls have paid to have messages of resistance put on billboards, here is one such example. It is mind boggling that something like this is immediately called 'RACIST!', and mainly by white people! Sometimes you have to wonder if the white race wants to die...]

    [Below: Maybe white people have been overdosing on RETADEX, because they are definitely acting retarded regarding their own racial survival.]


    The Eternal Greetings

    [#783]

  • Silent splendor

    [Note: We did this some time back for an April 20th update, but since that is long lost in the update history I decided to put it here.]


    The Hobbit Tarot

    [#784]

  • Tarot cards

    [Note: Well I guess there is every other kind of tarot being whored out these days. I've shown a river of different tarot card examples on a previous Trash and Treasure page, so I might as well show you this capitalist abomination too. That aside, the artist did a pretty good job, albeit strange.
    ©2012 U.S. Games Systems, Inc.]

    [Above: Bilbo and Gandalf smoking a little bit of crack cocaine.]


    Last Night Alive

    [#785]

  • 'zines (2016)

    [Note: Here's a couple of old school 'zines that were released simultaneously. These are issues #4 and #5 and like all of his previous releases, they are totally free to the editor's friends -- which are a motley assortment of freaks, weirdos and totally cool people like myself!

    Issue number four concentrates on various murder cases and music related articles, interviews and news.

    One of the more disturbing happenings on planet earth which is also detailed about in this issue is about a pair of gay cannibals. This is truly disturbing stuff. In short, a German guy named Armin Meiwes, who has fantasized about cannibalism since his youth, takes out a personal ad on the internet for a "young well-built man, who wanted to be eaten"! He received HUNDREDS of replies.

    [Above: Armin Meiwes - The Eater]

    A guy named Bernd-Jurgen Brandes, a computer analyst, was one of them. His fantasy was to be castrated and mutilated.
    He "...dreamt of being taken bodily into another man - being ingested - becoming one with another man."

    [Above: Bernd-Jurgen Brandes - The Eaten]

    Prosecutors at the later trial would say Brandes was suffering from a severe psychiatric disorder and a "strong desire for self-destruction".

    Anyway, the two gentlemen met, and to make things legit and "legal" Brandes was videotaped consenting to what was to follow. Get this: the detectives who viewed the videotape needed counseling after viewing it!!! Hmmm... I wonder if it is on youtube?

    Getting down to business, the two agreed that Brandes should first cut off his penis so that it could be cooked and eaten by THE TWO OF THEM before he died!!!

    After several tries the bothersome penis was finally removed! Meiwes fried his portion of the penis, while Brandes prefered to eat his portion of his own penis raw! But he didn't manage to do this because it was "too tough and chewy"...

    At this time Brandes was bleeding heavily and decided to take a relaxing bath. What did his partner Meiwes do you ask? What anyone would do in his situation: read a Star Trek novel of course!

    Later that night Meiwes stabbed Brandes to death in the neck with a kitchen knife. Being a hopeless romantic, Meiwes kissed him before stabbing him and letting him bleed to death.

    [Above: Inside Meiwes house. What the hell is that cage thing (top left)? Eww... there's the pizza the police mentioned the body was next to (top right)... is that mold or something all over that wall (lower left)?]

    Brandes was then chopped into pieces, with select portions going into the freezer (next to a pizza), while his skull was buried in the garden.

    Over the next weeks Meiwes defrosted and cooked the dead flesh of Brandes, adding garlic and olive oil to the yummy mix. He even brought out his best silverware and lit candles during the dinners. He would later say that Brandes tasted like pork.

    "With every bite, my memory of him grew stronger"

    [Above: Inside Meiwes house. Nice looking place huh?]

    After being caught he said that he had no remorse and the only regrets he had was being caught. He told the court that Brandes "Wanted it so badly. It was his heart's desire".

    Awww... that's so sweet.

    The most shocking part of all is next... you'll never guess this in all of your sadistic fantasies. He was sentenced to EIGHT AND A HALF YEARS!!!!

    Are you fucking kidding me?! People in the USA get more than that for beating someone up or for selling marijuana!

    [Above: Movie about Mr. Meiwes 'Grimm Love'. American/German versions.]

    Meiwes later confessed that it was an "incredible feeling" and that it was so great having "ultimate power over another man and slicing him up into individual portions."

    He admitted that after eating him he felt much better, relaxed and stable.

    Incredibly he also said that his grasp of the English language improved after eating Brandes! Apparently Brandes was fully fluent in English and Meiwes absorbed some of his skill!

    Since the editor's first language is Spanish there is sometimes some funny "Engrish"-like moments.
    For example, in an article about a Russian who murdered his mother, ripped out her heart, and also murdered his young sister, pulling out her eyes, it states:
    "...those who were dismembered in a building located in the Paseo Ensenada Boulevard corner with of rain."
    Huh? He he...

    Note to the editor: do you know any English speakers that want to be eaten? You could improve your English and get some delicious lunches as a bonus!

    *Just kidding comrade, your English is getting better and better everytime I talk to you, and is much better than my Spanish!!!

    Vaya con Satanas mi amigo!]

    [Above: Issue #5 cover]

    [Above: Opening page introduction. Issue five includes mostly articles taken from the web dealing with various musicians who have passed into the great unknown. It's an interesting read, but I would have liked to have seen more original content done by the editor.

    I can't believe Ronnie James Dio is dead! What a tragedy. I got to see Dio live a few years before he died and I loved every minute of it. I couldn't believe how short he was in person! I mean really short -- but a giant artist and vocalist, perhaps even the very best in metal.

    I was shocked and rather appalled at how few people attended the show, which was held at a small bar in a bowling alley. There must have been forty people there total! But Ronnie James Dio worked his magic like there were forty thousand. Still, I couldn't help but feel a bit ashamed... thanks fucking Omaha!

    [Above: My ticket stub from the blessed day!]

    [Above: The editor of Last Night Alive is an old school metalhead who goes back to the ancient days of tape trading. He's also one of the friendliest and most genuine people I've met through Mourning the Ancient. That said, I had no problem lending him some MTA photos to spice up his 'zine... ]

    [Above: ...however I didn't envision this!!! Many old school 'zines usually included pornography, and hell, nudity and metal go hand in hand. But... in this configuration above it looks like the... rather graphic photo on the left is a Mourning the Ancient photo! Oh well, it wasn't intentional, but it is kinda funny!]


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